


In Sync

by forgetmenotjimmy



Series: Antidote to Canon [1]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Apologies, Awkward Conversations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s01e19 A Coffin That Small, Fix-It, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Heather Is Done With These Idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:15:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23067613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgetmenotjimmy/pseuds/forgetmenotjimmy
Summary: Kelly let out a long breath. ‘I saw Heather.’Matt sat up and Kelly recognized the protective look. That hurt: did Matt think so little of him?He’d have a point, though. Kelly told himself and he went on calmly.‘Don’t worry. She didn’t stand for any bull, just told me some hard truths.’
Relationships: Matthew Casey & Andrew "Andy" Darden & Kelly Severide, Matthew Casey & Kelly Severide
Series: Antidote to Canon [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1552927
Kudos: 39





	In Sync

**Author's Note:**

> Credit to: LadyAte for the idea of closure between Heather+Kelly   
> As usual unbeta'd so let me know if you spot anything.   
> :D

Later, Kelly would realize that popping out from behind Heather’s car after she’d finished parking probably hadn’t been the best idea. She managed to mute her yelp before it left her mouth, but it looked to be a close call. He watched her clutch her chest and gather her things, her brow beginning to furrow. His own frustration grew and he braced himself for angry questions, maybe some fast-walking to try to avoid him.

Surprisingly, she didn’t move away from the car after locking it. Instead she eyed his approach and shouldered her bag.

‘We need to talk.’ He started bluntly.

She only sighed. ‘Stow the attitude and you can come inside.’ 

He blinked before his eyes narrowed a little in suspicion.

Her jaw tightened and she continued seriously. ‘I will not be yelled at in my own home.’ 

He nodded, raising his hands in surrender.

Once inside, he had to tear his gaze away from the photos on the wall. The ones at the firehouse were easy enough to ignore, what with the wide corridors. Here, he was almost suffocated by the memories. How could Heather still live her and not go crazy?

Once they reached the kitchen and she deposited hr bag on the side, exhaustion etched into her frame, he thought that maybe it _was_ taking its toll. His conscience prickled uncomfortably. Who could blame her if…?

Gritting his jaw, he shut down that line of thought and forced himself to focus on the moment.

‘I owe you an apology.’ She further surprised him by saying. ‘You were right: Andy loved being a firefighter and suggesting he only signed up to impress you was doing both of you a disservice.’

Some of the tension across Kelly’s shoulders eased and he breathed a silent sigh of relief.

‘God knew he could stand up to you when you were being an asshole.’ There was some bite to her voice but not enough to trigger a retort.

He shook his lighter shoulders and ground out. ‘You were grieving.’

She half-smiled sadly. ‘Still am. We all are.’

The oblique reference to the reason he was there retightened his muscles. She held up a hand.

‘Matt told me about your _conversation_.’ She emphasized ‘conversation’ as though she knew it had been more of a screaming match. Not waiting for a response, she went on. ‘I am not interested in your opinion on how to respect Andy’s memory. What me and Matt do or don’t do is our business.’ Her voice became as hard and cold as stone. ‘If you’re here to get a ‘confession’ out of me so you can shout more at your friend in front of your co-workers then you can leave right now.’

Kelly’s temper burned lowly but he bit back the words fizzing at the back of his throat.

‘M’ not angry about that.’ He glanced around awkwardly at the kitchen he’d been in a million times before, imagining he could hear the echo of Andy’s laugh. ‘I’m angry that he lied.’

Heather leaned against the counter and crossed her arms. ‘Why would he lie?’

It was surreal to be having the conversation with Andy’s widow; the thought of her tangled up with Matt in bed made his stomach roil.

‘He was ashamed.’ Kelly shrugged, voice rough. ‘Felt guilty, I don’t know. He should have-’ he swallowed. ‘He could have just told me.’

His words hung in the air for a long moment and he began to cringe as he belatedly heard the plaintiveness in them. Heather sighed.

‘When was the last time you two had a real conversation?’ She asked gently. ‘Have you even talked about Andy?’

Kelly huffed and ran a rough hand over his face.

‘Talk to him,’ Heather advised, calmly. ‘It doesn’t even have to be about this, it could be about anything meaningful.’

In the face of her earnestness, he let slip. ‘We said…I said a lot of bad things. Not sure there’s anything left to salvage.’

That thought kept him up at night, kept him staring at Casey’s office before striding right past it.

Heather stepped forward and put a gentle hand on his arm. ‘Isn’t it better to find out now?’

Kelly nodded and blinked rapidly. ‘Thanks, Heather.’

Her eyes shone a little in the mid-afternoon sun streaming in through the window. ‘Good luck.’

…

Whilst he desperately wanted to put it off, Kelly figured that waiting until they were both on shift would ultimately cause more trouble. He did _not_ want to let the Chief down again. So he sent Matt a message and set up a meet at a coffee shop near their apartments – nice, neutral territory.

He got there first for once and tried not to fidget or down his coffee all at once. Matt arrived exactly on time and they exchanged a nod before Matt queued and got his own drink.

It was the height of awkwardness to sit across from Matt with Andy’s ghost between them. Matt glanced up a little nervously but seemed willing to let Kelly say his piece. Kelly let out a long breath.

‘I saw Heather.’

Matt sat up and Kelly recognized the protective look. It jabbed him under his ribs: did Matt think so little of him? _He’d have a point_. A measured voice told him and begrudgingly he swallowed his offence.

‘Don’t worry. She didn’t stand for any bull. Told me some hard truths.’

Matt’s shoulders hunched back down, brows pulling together in a precursor to a pep talk or words of solidarity. Abruptly, Kelly’s heart ached; he’d missed the things that friendship with Matt brought.

‘I shouldn’t have attacked you like that, especially not in the house.’ Kelly stated calmly. ‘I’m sorry.’

If he hadn’t been peeling away the blood-crusted self-righteousness covering his grief, Kelly might have laughed at Matt’s poleaxed expression. As it was, Matt recovered quickly, clearing his throat.

‘I wasn’t much better.’ Breathing in deeply, he admitted. ‘I reacted so badly because I _did_ think about it. I told myself all the things you said but I still… So when you showed up that morning…’ He spread his hand in a ‘you know’ gesture and Kelly did.

‘Nothing happened.’ He said, finally clearheaded. Matt nodded, seeming relieved, though he wasn’t completely comfortable.

Suddenly, Kelly was seeing the jittery and standoffish 18-year-old who wouldn’t hold your gaze for longer than two seconds. It had taken Andy and Kelly weeks to gain the kid’s trust enough for him to relax around them. It had taken years for Matt to acquire his confident posture and half-strut; years of proving himself to fellow firefighters, superiors and the demons in his own head.

Kelly’s stomach swooped as he questioned if his shitty attitude had made him regress, had undone more than a decade of friendship. He didn’t know if he could handle Matt being wary of him again.

‘I don’t blame you.’ He murmured. Matt looked up, eyes widening as he realized what Kelly meant. ‘Anymore.’ Kelly continued. ‘I…it wasn’t anyone’s fault.’ His jaw clicked shut to stop the awful rasping in his voice.

Matt swallowed, eyes shining a little. He just nodded, but Kelly could see how much the words meant to him. Kelly coughed.

‘We good?’

‘Yeah.’ Matt croaked. ‘I missed…this.’

Kelly didn’t think they’d ever gone for coffee together – at least just the two of them – but he understood.

‘We should run some shared drills next shift. Make sure everyone is in sync.’

Matt smiled and Kelly’s head swam a little from the lightness filling up his whole body.

‘Great idea.’ Matt replied.

Sure enough, there was a different energy in the house when they ran those drills. Fresh life ran through the walls and the people. Kelly felt hopeful.

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda bummed Heather and Kelly never reconciled or even said goodbye. Kelly was Andy’s best friend and the way they left things was with Heather blaming him for her husband’s death? You really felt how that had hurt him during his shouting match with Matt on the app floor. Not cool.
> 
> Sorry if the ending feels a little abrupt. Already wrote another 'Matt and Kelly finally talk about Andy' fic and didn't want to start overlapping too much.  
> I have some more fix-it moments lined up but let me know if have any that you want to see.  
> Thanks for reading  
> :D


End file.
